perplexed clutter

i’m sick of never meaning anything to anyone. repeatedly getting told good-bye like i never even mattered. these people walk away with no remorse. it leaves me empty and insane, beaten and battered. emptiness swallows you even when you try to keep your hope. the grass is always greener but the fence has splinters that keep growing. why can’t my mind, being so aware, overpower my heart, it’s unfair. shouldn’t be too hard on myself, i know it’s rare.